The Normal Beaty Bunch

So many times we use the joke about ADHD kids - We can be having a somewhat normal conversation with out kiddos - and suddenly one of them yells "LOOK!  THERE'S A SQUIRREL!" and we've lost them!
 
Kiddos with ADHD are hard to parent.  Sometimes, they are hard to LOVE....and especially they can be hard to TEACH!

Life is even harder with MORE THAN ONE kiddo at home with ADHD .... I've lost count of HOW MANY of my sons have ADHD...I try to count - but they move so fast I can't keep up!

Here's a bit of info about ADHD and my son.  Share this with your friends.

1. It’s not his fault he behaves this way.
   My son’s brain works differently than other kids—it’s a neurological issue. He’s not doing these things on purpose. Believe me, if he could better control his impulsivity, hyperactivity, lack of focus and overblown emotions, he would. It’s no fun to struggle with these things.
2. It’s not my fault he behaves this way.
   I may not always do the right thing as a parent, but my parenting isn’t the cause of his challenges. Yes, I discipline him. And when he acts out, I give him consequences. But what works with other kids often doesn’t work with him. Or it doesn’t work every time. Sometimes I blame myself, even though I’m not sure what I’m blaming myself for.
3. ADHD is complicated.
   It’s not just about being “hyper” or not listening. What you see isn’t even half of it. He struggles in all sorts of ways you may not even notice—with things you may take for granted in your own kids. Turning in homework. Keeping track of time. Organizing his things and his thoughts. Applying what he knows one day to what he needs to do the next.
4. He’s not being rude or defiant.
   Well, he can be from time to time, just like any kid. But the behavior you may see as disrespectful (to me, or to other people) isn’t really that. Once my son realizes he’s been hurtful or made others unhappy, he feels terrible. He doesn’t mean it.
5. We’re both trying as hard as we can.
   We make schedules and checklists to try and keep things on track. We role-play ways he could have handled things differently. He works hard every day to keep it together at school, even if it means losing it when he comes home. I work hard to not lose it when he does. It’s exhausting.
6. Putting my young child on ADHD medication wasn’t easy.
   I don't like medicine.  I avoid Tylenol.  But the ADHD medication truly changed his life. It’s not everyone’s choice, but it was our family’s choice. We work CLOSELY with our son's Psychiatrist to determine which medicine and how much to give him.  I just don’t want people to think I did it lightly.
7. Feeling judged makes everything worse.
   It isolates us, when what we need most is support. Please don't judge.  PLEASE.
8. He’s so much more than his ADHD.
   If people could look beyond the challenges, they’d see the person I see. He’s funny and smart. He’s loyal, almost to a fault. He picks himself up when he falls, and tries again. Most important, he has tremendous empathy. And unlike many people, he shows it all the time.

I recently read a blog about the struggles a family has with people questioning her daughter's diagnosis of Autism.  This blog starts out like this :

I’ve seen the looks.

I’ve heard the whispers.

Nobody actually says it to my face, 

but I see them wonder. 

“Are you sure she has autism?"GO ahead and read the rest of " When People Wonder If My Daughter Really Has Autism" ... It's spot on!

 Sometimes things just don't work out the way we plan.
.....like the time we rented our house to friends...and they trashed it.  
        .....or the time we had a miscarriage
                .....or the time a little boy got his service dog.

"God works all things for the good."

"Blah blah blah."

...and yes, all of that is true - and I believe it - but in the moment of that pain and hurt and disappointment, I DO NOT want to hear that.  My response is 

4Paws:  And if you could send me s special email to pass along to one of our families who already has a dog. I can't tell you their name.  They prefer to be anonymous.  Okay curious? 
They were touched by your story and donated $7,000 to help.  

Me: WAIT!  Someone donated $7000 to the Beatys?  REALLY ??? 

4Paws: I can’t tell you who except it is one of the 900+ families who already have a 4 Paws dog.  But yes, they were touched by your adoption story

A couple of weeks ago, Noah and Titus were playing in the back yard. They unlocked, and sneaked through the gate and were running around the front yard, and towards the street.

Last week, Noah unlocked and opened the front door and he and Titus ran outside.  By the time I was able to catch Titus, Noah had already ran across the street - and was coming back across the street  to the house.

One of the goals of a service dog is to help provide safety and security for kids with Autism, kids who like to run.  The service dog will be trained to stop dangerous behaviors (like unlocking the gate and running to the front yard) or to chase and tackle Noah when he tries to run away.


We are in the midst of raising money for our service dog (for more info, check this out: The Beaty Bunch)


One of the ways we're working at finding money is by using CHANGE JARS.  You've seen them, at a restaurant, check out counter, or gas station.  I have available ALL shapes and sizes of containers!

I would LOVE to come to you and drop one of these off for you.  Let  me know where and when!


Would you maybe be willing to take one of these and put it at your office?  Maybe on your desk at work?  Or even in your car cup holder, and put your own change in there?


If you don't live near here, I can email you the picture for the front of a jar, and some brochures and business cards. Our business cards have our personal website on them, so your friends can learn about our boys.




I even have a cover letter you can give to a store owner or your boss, to explain the situation with our boys.



Paws4Beatys@gmail.com                                                            Paws 4 Beatys

I'm working on clutter ... I mean PAPERWORK ... at my desk - listening to Pandora.  I'm wondering how I can raise this money for our 5 boys and their service dog, and I'm feeling slightly discouraged.

Then - the 'Facebook ding' - someone messaged me ....

"Hey Karen!  Hope you guys are well!  I wanted to give you a little proposition!  We would like to donate to the Paws 4 Beatys, but we would like to do it in the form of a challenge.  My husband and I will match the total donations that come in from now until the end of October up to $500. 

I reread this - and then felt slightly guilty - I could have just asked God to encourage me - and He would have - I didn't have to complain!

She went on to say:
"You can share the challenge, of course, with other to get them to contribute.  I hope  it helps spur others to donate and we are excited to see what happens!"



Then I realized that God was playing this song on Pandora ...



....and as I listen right then - here's the words I heard:



My friend went on to say:
"Share away! and let's see what God can do!  Again, the thanks goes to HIM!"


Would you like to help meet the challenge in the next 10 days?  Here's one way or email me for more information.