The Normal Beaty Bunch

N seems to be doing 'ok' then his face gets cloudy, and he gets an angry/mean/confused look on his face. Sometimes he goes to sleep, sometimes he goes outside, or walks to the street - refusing to 'hear and obey' when we ask him to put the rock down, or come to the porch.  

I asked if the trains are something he thinks about...his eyes panicked and he shook his head NO!  I said do you see them on the ceiling?  He shook his head YES YES YES!!

Then, he went back to the first piece of paper and  beside the question mark that I drew - he drew the Devil again.  The devil is making him scared.  He said he can hear the Devil.  

I asked how I could help him.  He wrote 'text Sarah'.  Poor kiddo!

What a day it has been!  

Today was the first day of our new school year.  Overall, the kids listened well and seemed excited to start school. 

B is hearing voices again, and they are getting louder.  He is struggling, but our psychiatrist is out of the office!

J lost his mind tonight.  He ON PURPOSE broke some wheels off of special light up cars.  He did this just for fun and doesn't understand why he should get in trouble or pay to have them replaced.  He also doesn't understand why he has consequences for telling Dad to 'SHUT UP', shoving the table across the room, or throwing books around!  

S is currently in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He is struggling, and is being transferred to a different placement, due to him not responding to the treatment in the RTC.  Even though he KNOWS that he might be 'kicked out' - he just canNOT stop doing wrong things. 

J broke our dishwasher last night.  He was upset that he had been given a consequence.  

He whined. He cried.  He argued.  He pouted. He threw things.  He screamed.  He was so mad he slammed the dishwasher door open, slamming it into the floor.  He cracked the plastic surrounding the control panel.  He popped the front panel open, breaking the tabs that hold the front onto the door.  

EVERY. OTHER. BOY. in the rooms said "J - YOU DID THAT!"  

"Well, Mr. J.  You are going to be washing dishes by hand for a LONG TIME." 

He still claims innocence.  
I still claim sanity.  

He is a high schooler. 

Which one of us do you believe?

So many times we use the joke about ADHD kids - We can be having a somewhat normal conversation with out kiddos - and suddenly one of them yells "LOOK!  THERE'S A SQUIRREL!" and we've lost them!
 
Kiddos with ADHD are hard to parent.  Sometimes, they are hard to LOVE....and especially they can be hard to TEACH!

Life is even harder with MORE THAN ONE kiddo at home with ADHD .... I've lost count of HOW MANY of my sons have ADHD...I try to count - but they move so fast I can't keep up!

Here's a bit of info about ADHD and my son.  Share this with your friends.

1. It’s not his fault he behaves this way.
   My son’s brain works differently than other kids—it’s a neurological issue. He’s not doing these things on purpose. Believe me, if he could better control his impulsivity, hyperactivity, lack of focus and overblown emotions, he would. It’s no fun to struggle with these things.
2. It’s not my fault he behaves this way.
   I may not always do the right thing as a parent, but my parenting isn’t the cause of his challenges. Yes, I discipline him. And when he acts out, I give him consequences. But what works with other kids often doesn’t work with him. Or it doesn’t work every time. Sometimes I blame myself, even though I’m not sure what I’m blaming myself for.
3. ADHD is complicated.
   It’s not just about being “hyper” or not listening. What you see isn’t even half of it. He struggles in all sorts of ways you may not even notice—with things you may take for granted in your own kids. Turning in homework. Keeping track of time. Organizing his things and his thoughts. Applying what he knows one day to what he needs to do the next.
4. He’s not being rude or defiant.
   Well, he can be from time to time, just like any kid. But the behavior you may see as disrespectful (to me, or to other people) isn’t really that. Once my son realizes he’s been hurtful or made others unhappy, he feels terrible. He doesn’t mean it.
5. We’re both trying as hard as we can.
   We make schedules and checklists to try and keep things on track. We role-play ways he could have handled things differently. He works hard every day to keep it together at school, even if it means losing it when he comes home. I work hard to not lose it when he does. It’s exhausting.
6. Putting my young child on ADHD medication wasn’t easy.
   I don't like medicine.  I avoid Tylenol.  But the ADHD medication truly changed his life. It’s not everyone’s choice, but it was our family’s choice. We work CLOSELY with our son's Psychiatrist to determine which medicine and how much to give him.  I just don’t want people to think I did it lightly.
7. Feeling judged makes everything worse.
   It isolates us, when what we need most is support. Please don't judge.  PLEASE.
8. He’s so much more than his ADHD.
   If people could look beyond the challenges, they’d see the person I see. He’s funny and smart. He’s loyal, almost to a fault. He picks himself up when he falls, and tries again. Most important, he has tremendous empathy. And unlike many people, he shows it all the time.