The Normal Beaty Bunch: Father's love

Showing posts with label Father's love. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

The Devil made me do it!

Posted in adopted,confused,death,Father's love,Pray4Beatys,special needs | 1:21 PM | by SuperMomma

N seems to be doing 'ok' then his face gets cloudy, and he gets an angry/mean/confused look on his face. Sometimes he goes to sleep, sometimes he goes outside, or walks to the street - refusing to 'hear and obey' when we ask him to put the rock down, or come to the porch.

Today - we cleaned up lunch and he sat back beside me to work on schoolwork. He stopped, and got that strange look on his face. I drew a '?' on his paper - and he filled it up with details. Let me explain the picture (in the order he drew it - and as he shook his head yes to me guessing what he drew. He used no words through all of this)

He wants to run out the front door, and get hit by a car in the street. (in the middle of the page)

That would make him "RIP" . Here he is in a coffin in the ground with a "RIP" headstone. (above the middle)
I asked him how he got the idea to go into the street, and he drew the train on the right middle, with the evil laugh ("mewhaha"). He sees the nightmare trains when he is in bed at night (moon) and it scares him. (He's talked about these trains for a few days)

I asked if the trains are something he thinks about...his eyes panicked and he shook his head NO! I said do you see them on the ceiling? He shook his head YES YES YES!!

He drew that would make Mom and Sarah cry - and the Devil so happy. (on the bottom)

At the top - it would make God sad, and would break God's heart.

I took a second piece of paper - and drew a very strong God with 3 muscles on each arm (don't laugh!) and then the nightmare train - 'WEAK'. (Noah filled in the smoke!)

I drew the devil confused - with one weak muscle in each arm.

Noah drew the Adam and Even - in the garden - that made God sad. He drew the heart- that God loved Adam and Eve anyway.

Then, he went back to the first piece of paper and beside the question mark that I drew - he drew the Devil again. The devil is making him scared. He said he can hear the Devil.

I asked how I could help him. He wrote 'text Sarah'. Poor kiddo!

Monday, July 10, 2023

Such a short honeymoon

Posted in adopted,confused,Father's love,pray,Pray4Beatys,special needs,struggles,weary,Whole Lot Of Jesus~Little Bit Of Coffee | 11:25 AM | by SuperMomma

S has been home just over a week. He was dropped on our doorstep at 1am Saturday morning (July 1). He was excited, scared, happy, sad, frightened, relieved, anxious, etc. Probably every feeling possible was in his little heart!

Saturday was a 'get to know you again' day and a Cornbelter's game. Sunday - CHURCH! We were all excited to have him back and to go to church together.

The first week was busy. S needed to get back into the routine of school. We do homeschooling all year around - so it was 'back to the grind'!

Also, B helped S do his job charts. I'm not sure either boy was excited about this partnership!! It did make the rest of us smile a LOT!

When the jobs were done, and the school (mostly) finished for the week, next was the traditional weekend movie night. S requested to watch 'The Chosen", so we did that plus a Disney movie!

THEN, the honeymoon ended! First, a couple of yelling fits (followed by a quick apology!)

Next, 'mr.sticky.fingers' came back. Silly stuff: a comb, some D-rings, soap, spray paint. He started going off on his own - (against his safety plan)...but always followed with 'I'm sorry. I'm trying, it's just hard."

THEN: I find a tablet in his room, hidden under his towel. "It didn't matter, no one was using it!" So, as we start to talk through his safety plan - and how there are rules to follow, I find another very disturbing situation!

We find the trim from the window in his bedroom. It was laying on the window sill. He pulled it off Saturday night - and we found out Sunday night.

The glass on the left side is now exposed. Andrew most likely will try to caulk it, just to keep the glass in and keep Samuel safe from getting cut (or cutting himself). Again "I'm sorry Mom & Dad. I wasn't in my right mind. I'm so sorry. I messed up. I goofed."

FRUSTRATING - the window is a special order size (it was clearance years ago when we bought it) so of course - between seeing RED and being so upset, we are seeing $$$$$$

Of course - true to form, he apologizes. And, I wonder how in the WORLD does God forgive me - when I sin, and apologize, and sin, and apologize, and sin, and.... over and over and over.

On a side note - big brother Joseph was AMAZING in talking to Samuel. My favorite part of all that - Joseph said "Samuel. You and I are a LOT alike. We are both very stubborn." (I'd like to end there - but I'll respect Joseph and continue) "We can use that stubborn spirit for bad stuff, or we can choose to use it for good! Being determined can be a blessing - so make good choices."

Monday, June 5, 2023

Is it bedtime yet?

Posted in adopt,anxiety,Beatys,boys,confused,Father's love,Pray4Beatys,service dog,special needs | 8:33 PM | by SuperMomma

What a day it has been!

Started with finding out that J had been up most of the night in his room. (Good Job! on not coming out and waking everyone up!) He was up and down, lights on, lights off basically all night. He had to be exhausted. He had taken his bathrobe belt and made a noose with it. Don't ask why - that question never gets answered!

Today was the first day of our new school year. Overall, the kids listened well and seemed excited to start school.

N struggled in the afternoon. He left the house with his dog and no one knew! He was 'off' over 5 hours before we got him in bed.

A got to enjoy the dentist this afternoon, I think he may be rethinking his choice of avoiding brushing his teeth!!

B is hearing voices again, and they are getting louder. He is struggling, but our psychiatrist is out of the office!

J lost his mind tonight. He ON PURPOSE broke some wheels off of special light up cars. He did this just for fun and doesn't understand why he should get in trouble or pay to have them replaced. He also doesn't understand why he has consequences for telling Dad to 'SHUT UP', shoving the table across the room, or throwing books around!

T had a GREAT day! OH WAIT - CORRECTION!! Titus 'spray painted' the cameras in his room early in the morning - thinking I wouldn't notice. BUMMER - I did. GRRR. He is now supposed to be cleaning his room (it's 9:35 pm) But he's not~!

UPDATE: 10:40 T finally laid down. I don't know about him - but I AM EXHAUSTED!

Friday, June 2, 2023

If I want it - I take it

Posted in adopt,anxiety,cross,Father's love,Pray4Beatys,special needs | 9:41 AM | by SuperMomma

S is currently in a Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He is struggling, and is being transferred to a different placement, due to him not responding to the treatment in the RTC. Even though he KNOWS that he might be 'kicked out' - he just canNOT stop doing wrong things.

Last night I called S (as we talk almost every night).

The first gal answered and I asked for him. She stuttered and said "let me check."

The second gal ... sweet, quiet, innocent voice ... "See, we do med pass about 6:15 and then we have them sit quietly for 15 minutes. and we do room checks and It's nothing bad, and not supposed to have in his room it's all laid out so I want to talk to him about it before he walks in there..... 'WHAT? OH SAMUEL... What did he have?" ((again - sweet innocent voice)) Let me get the list.... Insert me SMACKING MY HEAD ON THE WALL Well... pens, a pencil, a screw - well, that's not a safe thing, toiletries I asked - did he have a comb? She said yes - ((He uses that to break the tines off and scratch himself)) So - I told her - No worries, I'll call back. You'll be much nicer to him than I want to be. Thanks!!

Later I called S back. Of course - he claimed the screw was given to him by a peer - so not his fault. The pens were his roommate's, so again - not his fault. I reminded him that he could have given the screw straight to a staff person, and not kept it. He acted surprised.

He had contraband in his room? AGAIN? I just don't get it....

He KNOWS they staff do room checks.

(He knows we have cameras in the house)

He KNOWS they will find things hidden in his room.

(He KNOWS we will watch the cameras)

He KNOWS there will be consequences.

(He KNOWS there will be consequences.)

He is SO SURPRISED!!

There HAS to be a disconnect in his brain between BEHAVIORS and CONSEQUENCES.

How in the WORLD can he understand the GRACE and FORGIVENESS of Jesus if there is such a disconnect between what he does, and what happens afterwards?

How can he ask for FORGIVENESS and ACCEPT that - if he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong?

I'm so thankful that GOD is the judge - not me!

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

* * * * SHATTERED * * * * *

Posted in 4 Paws,adopted,Father's love,orphan,patience,Pray4Beatys,Whole Lot Of Jesus~Little Bit Of Coffee | 7:47 PM | by SuperMomma

After school is hard work. Anyone with kiddos knows that transitioning home from school can really mess with the best!! Today was no exception....

But let me back up first. Before 8 am I got a message from a friend:

Wow - TRUE religion - is caring for orphans ... (and even those orphans who've been adopted!!)

Today was a busy day for us... a couple of meetings and then paperwork on top of that... so I said:

(I'm learning to ask for help! This took me about 10 minutes to ask!)

and she said ...

WOW! What a servant's heart! Thank you Jesus! Today is going to be a GREAT day!

I went on about my day - showered, fixed hair (even looked cute!), wore a new shirt, got some paperwork done. I was feeling pretty good about myself!

Our afternoon meeting was .... interesting. Concerned friends, checking in on us to make sure we are doing OK. "Your kids are a handful, they are getting worse. They are struggling, and life is going to get harder and harder for you two. More than just surviving, we want you to thrive. What can we do to make sure you're thriving?" They didn't have the answers, because there are NOT any easy answers, but they care - and they showed that!

Hurry home - kids get off of bus soon - then CHAOS begins! Titus first, then Noah, then Samuel. It was rough. Titus was crabby, Noah was angry. Samuel ... just meltdown material!

Daddy did an EXCELLENT job of calming Samuel (for the time being) and Noah and Titus went outside to play.

Our supper arrived, and I talk with my friend... THANKS so much for making our day just a little bit easier.

Now - we have a LOT of windows in our front room - which is really good to be able to keep an eye on our boys in the back yard.

BANG! BANG! BANG! Noah has a rock and he's hitting the window.

I quickly say Good Bye to Jena, and Andrew and I corral Noah and try to figure out what's going on. Maybe it was a rough day at school. Maybe his clothes don't feel right. Who knows, but we have to stop the banging.

Noah stops, and runs inside. Andrew looks at me, I look at him. We sigh. Survive...We just need to survive.....

CRACK!!!

WHAT was that NOISE?
WHOA...the window SHATTERED!!

...survive....just survive...

forget trying to THRIVE

Noah had his meltdown. Cam came to help

(although the screaming was loud and he hid his head in the pillows!)

Eventually, Noah calmed down and went to sit on the picnic bench and look at the window.

Noah sat on the picnic bench...and tried to process what happened. He doesn't know why he hit the window, he doesn't want to talk about it....

And then, the moment God spoke ...

"Karen. His life is shattered. He's a mess. All of the kids ... they are all shattered. They are not getting better.

Karen. I love Noah more than you do. I love all the kids more than you do. More than you can ever dream or imagine.

Karen. I called you to this. Don't just survive. THRIVE!"

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Unexpected....blessing!

Posted in adopted,Father's love,service dog,special needs | 7:09 AM | by SuperMomma

Once upon a time ...

... in a land far away ...

there lived a little boy who wanted a service dog.

He got his service dog.

He was so excited and lived happily ever after.

The End.

Sometimes things just don't work out the way we plan.
.....like the time we rented our house to friends...and they trashed it.
.....or the time we had a miscarriage
.....or the time a little boy got his service dog.

Then, some 'well meaning person' walks up and says ....

"Remember, God doesn't allow anything you can not handle"

"God works all things for the good."

"Blah blah blah."

...and yes, all of that is true - and I believe it - but in the moment of that pain and hurt and disappointment, I DO NOT want to hear that. My response is

"I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT 'GOOD' IS ....

I WANT TO BE ON THE 'OTHER' END OF THIS!"

Now, back to our real fairy tale:

That little boy,

his momma and daddy,

and his 9 siblings

all wished and prayed for a service dog.

God gave them a special service dog and that little guy was so happy.

and then he SNEEZED. and he SNEEZED. and he SNEEZED!!!

Sometimes - being on the other end of the 'God working all things together for good' - isn't easy either.

One week ago, 4 Paws For Ability posted this: "Rana, a service dog, needs a new placement. Her boy is allergic to her."

Well....here is the rest of the story:

We are driving home from 4 Paws For Ability with Rana. She specifically has been trained in Behavior Disruption - which is exactly what the Beaty Bunch of Boys needs!

We praise God for allowing us to adopt Rana!

The little boy,

along with his momma and daddy,

and his siblings

were very sad to see Rana leave their family.

The Beaty Bunch of Boys

prays hard for the little boy

and his family,

that they will trust that God is working things out for them.

The End.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Praying for Miracles

Posted in adopt,court,Father's love | 8:26 AM | by SuperMomma

Thursday and Friday are two days that will change history. Well...history for 4 little kids, a couple of adoptive families, and some birth parents. These two days are court for the (potential) termination of parental rights for the two little guys "B" & "A" that we plan to adopt, as well as their two younger siblings.

Please pray. Pray that God will be honored. Pray that the Judge will be given wisdom and insight. Pray for the birth parents...pray that they won't drag this out - pray that they'll 'surrender' their rights. It's time.

Pray especially for "B" & "A". They don't know what's going on - they don't understand. But, they will feel the biggest impact of the next two days. Pray for us - as we begin to parent and love these boys.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

So...I was thinking today...

Posted in Father's love,foster,Love | 8:09 PM | by SuperMomma

Last week BabyMomma complained that "L" comes to visits very dirty. She said that he has poop in his diapers, because he hasn't been wiped well. She doesn't like the way he's dressed. She says that we, as foster parents, aren't taking good care of little "L". She says his face is always dirty and he smells like rotten milk.

That irritates me. I still have all my kids. She doesn't.

My CASA helped me see something today - She said "This is BabyMomma's 'last ditch effort' to try to get to keep little "L". At least she's trying." I started thinking about that. God showed me something today.

As God and I talked about this, I began to think that BabyMomma might care about little "L". Maybe she's trying - to the best of her ability - to show that she cares. Maybe she even loves him? And maybe she doesn't know how to do any differently than this. And maybe she hurts.

So, I was thinking. What would happen if BabyMomma met Jesus? How would that change things?

And then I thought some more. Do my attempts to show love to my heavenly Father look as feeble as BabyMomma's attempts to show love to her baby?

Wow. Ouch.

The Normal Beaty Bunch